Week 10- Emotion Work & Sex Work

Anthony Egger
Family & Work Blog
Week 10

Jean Duncombe, “Whose Orgasm is this Anyway? ‘Sex Work’ in Long-term Heterosexual Couple Relationships

This article looks at heterosexual couples and examines the differences between each partners expectations and their actual sex lives. They ask whether like many other things in our world, sex has become a type of ‘work’ in order to bring their actions in line with their beliefs of how sex ought to be experienced. In this manner, people try to take control over their sex lives, and fit into a balance of power system between the sexes, system inevitably tilted towards men. These beliefs are not held by all, as there are those who feel equal in the act of sex. Because there is much disparity in these beliefs, the authors felt, and I agree that empirical evidence must be found.
Here in the data, there again were some disparities and seemingly paradoxical thought processes. Men wanted “a sexually experienced virgin,” while women wanted sensitivity while not being a ‘wimp’. However, both studies found that the goal of sex has become mutual orgasm, with a strong decline in women faking just to satisfy their partner. Also, it was found that with a longer marriage, the amount of sex declined, either due to habituation or a decline in time due to other familial responsibilities. Also, many sexual deficiencies are just merely covered up instead of delving into the real issues, either due to fear of vulnerability or an angry reaction. To help try and liven up their sex lives, some couples turn to the use of pornography or even increased masturbation. If these problems persist, then often a ‘brick-wall of resentment’ can be cast around both parties, and they can be led into affairs to satisfy their needs that are not being met in their marriage.
The main findings of the studies show that women now need less sex work to overcome their own inhibitions, and are also now less inclined to just do it on behalf of men. Especially early in a relationship, when there is still intense passion, the need for sex work is very small. As time passes though, more sex-work is necessary to maintain a relationship, as those with the greatest satisfaction are those that constantly work at it.

Jean Duncombe, “Stepford wives’ and hollow men?”

Their previous research emphasized that long-term relationships are often maintained through women doing “emotion work,” not only for themselves, but also for their “hollow” husbands. As I was reading that though, I thought that view was a bit stereotypical, a point they address in the next paragraph. They call for a greater analysis and clarification of the ‘emotion work’ dynamic, and how its interplay works among the sexes.
The original definition of emotion work put forth by Hochschild was the individual effort put forth by both sexes to manage their feelings and bring them in line with societal rules of how they should feel in certain situations. However, there are gender differences in the practice of this idea. One researcher found that in marriage, there is an emotional contract in which the woman is expected to nurture the man. As we have discussed earlier, women are also the ones who maintain emotional contact with the majority of relatives and friends on behalf of the couple. This view leaves out men’s emotional work, which is still present, but just differently focused than women’s. It was found that men’s form of emotional work, is to keep their difficult work problems away from the home sphere. There is also an interesting theory that men perform emotional work on themselves to resist becoming intimately emotionally involved. This only furthers the stereotype that men are emotionally hollow. I think it also oversimplifies a very complex dynamic, and this is one of the main criticisms of Hochschild’s theory. An attempt to clarify can be made through the generalized assertion that women become attuned to recognize the emotions and needs of others, and believe they should be served; whereas men are encouraged to pursue maturity and independence from feminine qualities. Again though, this psychodynamic model is too generalized I feel.
The best model presented I feel is the new hypothesis put forth by Hochschild. She claims that even though doing emotion work is still integrally linked with gender, a person’s feelings and actions can only be partially inferred from the gender ideology. Men and women may be made aware of the societal pressures to change according to their gender, but their decision to follow or not is more complex than just relating to their sex. This is shown well in the article through the narratives about real men and women and their own inner beliefs. They did not find anyone who specifically fit the ‘Stepford’ model that Hochschild first proposed, but there were ‘pseudo-stepford’ wives that shared a few of the main traits of the model.
In their conclusion, they acknowledge that many of the disagreements relating to gender differences in doing emotion work have come into fruition because of the ambiguous use of the concept. On the surface it may appear that men and women fall into these nice categories, yet there can be great variations.

Elizabeth Bernstein, “Sex Work for the Middle Classes”

This article looks at the relationship between the increase in the participation of sex work by middle class men and women and the more generalized patterns of economic restructuring, specifically the new technologies of sexual exchange. She notes that due to the gender discriminations in work practices, many equally qualified men and women have taken different routes to pay the bills. Many women have realized they could make more money as a stripper then on the lowest rung of the IT ladder, despite their college educations. These women form what the author entitles the “new petite bourgeoisie” which seeks its salvation via an “ethic of fun.” No longer is it just about the money and moving upward, but this new class truly garners fun, pleasure, and freedom as the highest goal. In this profession, the main goal is to gain independence. Most start off working for someone else, but desire to build up their own clientele base, and then if necessary hire their own men to serve as drivers or protection.
Also one of the major ways that middle class sex workers have been able to benefit is through the explosion of the internet. It has allowed for more autonomy, more safety, and greater profit capability. Through advertisements, women can present themselves in a manner they want and target the clientele they desire. There have also been new developments in “how-to” strategies and training programs to help new businesses. Due to the internet, sex has become more commercialized and efficient.
In an interesting comparison, the author looks at how men’s visits to strip clubs resemble a form of “postmodern touristic practice.” This means, that just like how many tourists go to other lands in search of authenticity, many patrons to strip clubs also place a premium on realness in their interactions. More and more, men desire the girl with the natural look. Women in the industry recognize this, and often delve into some type of acting.
The author also presented something that I had never considered before, that many sex workers place a premium on ensuring that their own labor felt meaningful to themselves. It makes sense that they, just like a worker in an office job, want self satisfaction for their work. So with the increasing in blogging, many of these women write about their exploits.
In her conclusion, she summarizes that due to this technologically driven economy that has driven up the cost of living while at the same time limited the occupations available, many educated, middle class women are turning to sex work. Beyond just this shift in occupation, these changes have also led to women restructuring their entire intimate lives, including their decision to delay marriage and having children. All of these connections make sense, but for one reason or another, I never really considered it before.

Elizabeth Bernstein, “What’s wrong with Prostitution?”

Two of the biggest debates over sexuality involve pornography and prostitution. While there are strong beliefs about both issues, Bernstein points out that there has been little empirical research done on contemporary prostitution. And because policy issues are at stake in the prostitution debate, this research is necessary. As it stands, many feminists believe that the criminalized state of and loose enforcement of rules regarding prostitution are unfair. Looking at this debate, Bernstein examined 18 months worth of field work data. She makes a good point that we cannot determine what is right or wrong with prostitution without understanding what it is first.
She begins to review the literature with first looking at the radical feminists against prostitution. They claim that through this exploitation of gender inequality and sexual objectification, women in all fields are subjectified. They argue that a man’s ability to seek out and purchase sexual serves is indicative of the thought process of men’s control over women. In the camp for pro-sex feminism, they believe that prostitution gives women the ultimate power. That they are rid of the hypocrisy, and get to have as much sex with men, as men do with women. However, as she points out, there is also a cultural and social meaning that must be understood in the determining of the appropriate responses.
An interesting fact, and one that most likely is directly correlated to the rise of the internet as an aid, is that only 20% of sex workers are street walkers. There are also three distinct classes of prostitutes in San Francisco, but what is true for all classes is that there is no other job they could have that would deliver even a similar wage. Prostitution also provides some of these women a sense of control that they might not have had due to their past life experiences. They now have the right to refuse to perform sex, and she has to use many of the same intuitions in choosing a client as she would a boyfriend. She next makes what I think is a bit of a stretch in comparing the pimp-prostitute relationship to a marriage. She also counters a common misnomer that pimps provide true protection for the girls, which often isn’t feasible. Many street walkers are still arrested on trumped up charges of jaywalking or public nuisance and then released after only a couple of hours in jail.
Bernstein talks about COYOTE, the national prostitutes’ rights organization, an organization that I had no idea existed. The main criticism of this group is that they are not true reflections of the poverty driven prostitutes, but white middle class women. They present an interesting dynamic in that they have been raised to be “good girls,” but they in choosing prostitution have gone into a “bad girl” category. But with these higher level prostitutes, there is a specific distinction between them and the street walkers. Often these women could find some other job as they are usually college educated. Another type of prostitution she examined is the sex for drugs paradigm. In this situation, many women have been “drugged” into prostitution as the only way of financing their habit. This is the most dangerous type of work, with many facing daily the fear of being raped or murdered.
As she showed, the term prostitution is too limiting, as there are many distinctions and classifications within that broad grouping. Each argument, either for or against prostitution has valid arguments, and its effects on women and society can be mixed, making it very difficult to completely quantify prostitution as a whole.